"THE BACHELOR" 01/11/2016: EPISODE 2

I chose to watch the CFP National Championship last night instead of watching The Bachelor.  I know, I know.  If one of these chicks showed that lack of commitment to Ben, I would be angry as all Hell.  So it's Tuesday and I am watching The Bachelor.  Another two hour long The Bachelor.

(CAUTION: THERE ARE SOME SWEAR WORDS IN THIS POST.  SO IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, DON'T READ) 

It's time for Ben and 21 ladies, who managed to survive last week's first cut, to take the next step toward the Final Rose!  What number of these girls were once Psychology majors, at some point during their enrollment, in college?  I am putting the over/under at 17.   It would only make sense.  Girls major in Psychology for two reasons: either to get their Masters or to figure out their own problems.  The pinnacle of this phenomenon is when you find a girl who is actually crazy and is getting her actual Masters in Psychology.  I dated one of these once.  It was the strangest 15 months of my life.  To put it into perspective, it is like dating Lace times a hundred for twenty four hours, seven days a week.  Moving on...

ABC has some serious balls making this show two hours.  Do people really watch two hours of this?  I checked the guide for next week, too.  IT'S TWO HOURS ALSO!  Enough with the length of the show, let's get into the depth.  Will any of my original favorites (Lauren the flight attendant, Caila, or Olivia) make the cut, is Lace as much of a psychotic, fucking drunk that last Monday portrayed her to be, why is Mandi the Peculiar Dentist, Tiarra the Chicken Enthusiast, or Maegan the Cowgirl on this show still?

I am going to stick to what I intended to do.  Find Ben love.  So, ABC, as much as you try to irritate me with your two hour farce, I am loyal to Ben and this blog.

All right, Ben, let's separate the bride to be from the wannabes.

Show starts off with confessionals from Leah and the Twins and already I am annoyed.  I am going to give Leah a pass for the hiking the ball first impression thing.  I will not budge on disliking the Twins.  But wait, Lace admits that the first night she may have gotten a little drunk and emotional.  The first step, Lace, is admitting you have a problem.  The real problem, Lace, is that you sound hungover and can't stop talking about wanting to make out with Ben.

GROUP DATE!!!

9:59:  So 10 chicks are fighting to be Ben's Homecoming Queen at Bachelor High.  They break up into teams of 2.  They teams will be eliminated after each "class".

SCIENCE CLASS
"The first four teams to make Ben's volcano explode move on," Host Chris says.  I get it.  The volcano symbolizes Ben's penis.  Jubilee and Lace are out.  Jubilee better sleep with one eye open tonight.

LUNCH CLASS
Now we are bobbing for apples and making comments about who has a big mouth or who can use it well.

GEOGRAPHY
These idiots don't know where Indiana belongs on a map.

GYM CLASS
Time for basketball.  This is worse than watching a 6th grade gym class awkwardly trying to square dance.  Mandi and Amber win a free throw contest

There can only be one winner and they are going to settle it on the track.  Mandi and Amber have to run a knee high hurdle race to win the contest.  Mandi runs barefoot.  Of course she does.  "Mandi absolutely dominated this race," says Ben.  Mandi is the Bachelor High Homecoming Queen.   Barf.

I seriously rewound the Bachelor High portion of the show 4 times to find it's relevance.  I still can't.  The only REAL relevance I can find is if it was to fill up a two hour show.

20:03:  Back from commercial for the rest of the group date.  Becca strikes first to grab Ben.  Lace is still talking about being not being crazy.

Becca can straight up ball.  I think she could take Ben in a game of "HORSE".  Becca is going to go far in this show.

22:36: Ben goes in for a kiss with Jennifer and totally lands it.  Jennifer is very excited about it.  So excited that she forgot to lie to Lace when Lace asked, "Did you kiss?"  Now Jubilee is safe from the wrath of Lace and Jennifer is #1 on Lace's "PEOPLE TO MURDER TODAY" list.

23:50: Back at the Bachelor Mansion.  The girls are super excited for a date card.  Especially, Olivia. Not because she may have special date with Ben but because she heard she was a finalist to be cast as Janice in the live action Muppets movie based on "Dr. Tooth and The Electric Mayhem".

25:24: Lace asks for some alone time with Ben.  My heart is pounding.  This girl is nuts.  She is delusional.  I think she is more sane when she is drunk.   Lace says, "We are just making eye contact galore.  I mean we are almost eye bleeped (fucking)!"  Jubilee interrupts the couple.  Jubilee leaps to the top of Lace's murder list.

34:00:  Lace has a drink in her hand, thank goodness, and asks for another minute with Ben by saying, "Im not crazy.  I just need one more minute."  The group is turning on Lace.

36:18:  Ben takes JoJo to Heli-Pad and discloses, "This is my special location."  In translation: "This is the furthest spot away from Lace and I am pretty sure she does not know where it is.  If she does, let's pray together that she has a fear of heights."

38:20:  JoJo gets the Special Rose (no clue what this is really called) and becomes #2 on Lace's murder list.

34:37:  Caila is the recipient of the the first one on one date with Ben.  In walks Chris with a special announcement.  Chris called in a couple of friends (Sure.  Chris totally hangs with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart) to go on the date, Kevin Hart and Ice Cube from "Ride Along 2".  In case you are wondering why Kevin Hart and Ice Cube from "Ride Along 2" are here, their movie premieres this week.  I am sure ABC has some money in the studio producing the film.

This date is a prime example of why these relationships don't work after filming.  Let's fast forward 7 months and say Caila wins the Final Rose.  Anytime time Ben will suggest Olive Garden for dinner, Caila will remind him about their first date with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube from "Ride Along 2" and say, "What happened to us?  We used to be so fun.  Remember when we totally kicked it with Kev and Cube?  Text them.  See what they are doing tonight."

Did I mention that Kevin Hart and Ice Cube were in "Ride Along 2" and premiering this Friday?  Felt like I needed to because ABC only did it 13 times and 13 is unlucky.

61:19:  I don't know who Amos Lee is.  Apparently, Ben LOVES him.

GROUP DATE #2 SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS

69:24:  "I don't know much about science." "I'm not very smart." -Twins.

71:12:  Smell test.  Ben says Samantha smells sour.  Doctor compares her to Chinese food.  Passing the bar might be easier than battling back from this scientific smell assessment.

76:21:  Olivia scored 7.45 from the experiments.  I really like her confessionals.  She is confident and funny.

83:49:  "I am one lucky man," declares Ben.  The one on one montage is fantastic.  I like Ben.  I want to go bowling with him.

Now he is so cool about Amanda's kiddos (his words, not mine).  He is the best.  Whoever the chick is that didn't pick him in "The Bachelorette" does not deserve happiness.

Olivia gets The Group Date Rose (thanks Olivia for naming it for me).

98:23:  COCKTAIL PARTY AND ROSE CEREMONY

"So now I'm done.  Now everybody have at it and I hope that you can respect that," says Olivia confidently.  I really, really like her confidence.  It makes me laugh.

"It's the unstoppable force versus the immovable object!" Lace takes Olivia aside to talk to her.  As usual, Lace makes no sense and Olivia gives no fucks.

Now Lace is pouring her heart out to Ben about being awkward at the age of 13.  As if nobody was ever awkward at the age of 13.  I hope they give her more Chardonnay.  Please, please give her more Chardonnay for the Rose Ceremony!

Back from commercial, Ben gives Lauren the flight attendant a special gift.  My initial Top 3 are looking good.

Amanda says she didn't know how to react when Ben said he wanted to make berets with Amanda for her daughters.  Her non-verbal reaction was to jump his bones.

After commercial break, is Rose Ceremony.  Going to do my best to follow along.

Amanda is first
Jubilee is next
Lauren B the flight attendant is next (YES)
Leah will you accept this rose?
Becca will you accept this rose?
Rachel.  Who?  Was she in this episode?
Lace.  What the fuck?  Did the producers make him pick her?
L.B. will you accept this rose? **DRAMA**  L.B. is pulling out of the competition.  I am hoping LC from "The Hills" takes her place.
Jennifer will you accept this rose?
Emily will you accept this rose?
Jamie will you accept this rose?
Lauren H. will you accept this rose?
Sushanna will you accept this rose?
Hailey will you accept this rose?
FINAL ROSE...
Amber will you accept this rose?

Smelly Samantha and Peculiar Mandi are out.  I guess the Chicken Girl and the Miniature Pony Girl got cut last week but they didn't show it.  The editing is hard to follow on this show.

So they Twins and Lace are still in The Bachelor Mansion.  My initial Top 3 are still looking good.  Becca is creeping up into the mix.  I am hoping to finally get one of these blogs done on an actual Monday next week.

Thanks for reading.  See you next week!

"THE BACHELOR" 01/04/2016: SEASON PREMIERE

I didn't realize that Tifani watched the season premiere of "The Bachelor" already when I posted we were going to watch it together.  This is not an uncommon thing when we watch shows together, sometimes she forges on to an episode without me.  Heaven forbid I do the same.  She is going to be a trooper, though, and watch it again with me.  Here we go!

2:17:  Meet Ben Higgins! He is just a regular guy from Indiana who shoots hoops on a barn like Jimmy Chitwood from "Hoosiers".  Nice stereotype, ABC!

3:36:  Elementary and high school shots, movie theaters, and Grand Marshal of high school homecoming parade.  "Isn't this incredible!"  Ben is kind of a tool.

6:00:  Time to meet Mr. & Mrs. Higgins.  I like them.  They have been married 30 plus years and are great role models for Ben.  Notice that they don't live on a farm but on a lake.

First commercial break: DEAR LORD HE IS ALREADY IN McDONALD'S COMMERCIAL? HE GETS TO DATE 25 GIRLS AND GETS A COMMERCIAL! Note that The Hopper did not jump over this commercial.

11:40:  Time to meet "The Bachelor" alum and totally bro out. A lot of nodding when another bro talks.

Next commercial break.  Preview of twins and some chicks from previous "The Bachelor".  Also, ABC spoils that there might be drama.

19:55:  Time to meet the women hoping to marry Ben!

Lauren, 25.  Flight attendant.  Beach girl.  Cute.  Tif doesn't like her face.

Caila, 24.  Software sales rep.  Dumped her boyfriend because she had butterflies for Ben when she saw him on TV.  Might be crazy.  Nice smile.

Jubilee, 24.  War veteran.  Seems intimidating.  I feel like she could break the military female perception.

Mandi, 28.  Dentist.  Embraces the weird.  I am not a fan.

"I'm Emily!"  "And I'm Hailey!" *in unison "And we're twins!"  Ugh.  "I'm Jay. And I hate you both.  Equally!"

Amanda, 25.  Estihetician.  2 daughters.  Divorced.  Seems nice.

Tierra, 27.  Chicken enthusiast.  Nope.  She's gone.  Hopefully Ben sends her home right away so she isn't away from her chickens for more than 10 days.

Samantha, 26.  Recent law school grad.  Nothing jumps out for Samantha.  Sad ALS story, though.  Tifani does not care for Samantha.

Back from last commercial.  Ben is going to meet these women.  Heart to heart with the host.  Neither Tif nor I know who this guy is.  Ben goes in for a hug.  Ben is growing on me.  I don't think he is a tool anymore.

LIMO TIME:

Lauren the flight attendant is out.  Ben says, "That's a great start."

Caila comes out and jumps in his arms.  Caila is an early favorite.

New girl, Jennifer, 25.  Small business owner.  Forgets to tell Ben her name.

Jami, Bartender, 23.  From Canada.  Name drops Katelynn.  I assume thats the girl who broke Ben's heart.

Sam comes out and tells him she just passed the bar.  Drops an awful "Boxer or legal briefs?" pickup line.  Who writes this?

Jubilee comes out.  Ben says, "Like that dress!" After stumbling over pickup lines she tells him an awful one about the dress.  Can't they stop at, "Hi! Nice to meet you?"

Amanda just says "Nice to meet you." Thank you.

New girl comes out.  Lace, 25.  Real Estate Agent.  Goes in and gets first kiss.

New girl.  Lauren, 26.  Math teacher.  Stalks Ben on social media.  RED FLAG!  And she forgets to tell Ben her name.

New girl.  Shushanna, 27.  Mathematician.  Speaks to Ben in Russian.  I think this is a great first impression.

New girl.  Leah, 25.  Event planner.  What!?  What is going on?  Did she just bend over in a gown and hike a football at him?  "I knew you were a catch"????  Just throw him the football.  RED FLAG.

Tif and I both groan as a unicorn head comes out of the limo.  New girl.  JoJo, 24.  Real Estate Developer.  RED FLAG.

Lauren H., 25.  Kindergarten Teacher.  Brings Ben dead flowers from a wedding where she caught the bouquet.  Ben is too patient with these people, in my opinion.

Laura "Red Velvet", 24.  Account Executive.  She seems nervous.  Could pull off an Emma Stone look, maybe.  Not now.

Mandi the peculiar dentist comes out with a big rose on her head.  RED FLAG.  I am not a Mandi fan.

44:27:  A scene with the girls all together.  Foreshadowing of bitchiness to come.

Back to the limos, the Twins come out before commercial break.

47:40:  Back from commercial and we get a confessional with Red Velvet saying, "I was hoping there would be one ugly person.  I have yet to see an ugly individual."  Apparently Red Velvet has never seen the movie Rounders.  The movie opens with the line, "Listen, here's the thing.  If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table.  Then you are the sucker."

I just realized that we are almost an hour into this show.  Which means I just realized this show is 2 hours long.  Is it always 2 hours long?  Dear Lord, I hope not.

New girl comes walking up with miniature horse, Huey. Maegan, 30.  Cowgirl.  RED FLAG.  Congratulations, Red Velvet!  You got your wish!

New girl.  Breanne, 30.  Nutritional therapist.  "Gluten is Satan.  Let's be honest."  Literally, breaks bread.  RED FLAG.

New girl.  Izzy, 24.  Graphic designer.  "I had to find out if you were the onesy for me."  RED FLAG.

Time to bring up that they keep showing short confessionals of Lace being sort of catty.  Tifani tells me to hold on and that it gets worse.

New girl.  Rachel, 23.  Unemployed.  Comes out in a hover board.  All I scream at the TV is, "Please blow up.  Please blow up."  Tifani tells me to be nice.

New girl.  Jessica, 23.  Accountant.  She seems nice.  Ben looks like he likes her, too.

Tiarra comes out without a chicken.  She actually looks decent.

LB, 23.  Fashion Buyer.  I like her.  She has a genuine thing about her.

Jackie, 23.  Gerontologist.  I thought the "Save the Date" card was a nice touch.  So did, Ben.

New girl.  Olivia, 23.  News anchor.  Ben calms her down her nerves.  Nice talk about dimples.  I have dimples.

56:19:  Host, Chris Harrison (I googled it), talks with Ben.  Ben has no doubt the future Mrs. Higgins is in the house.  There is no doubt I am exhausted at this point.  Need to take a break from this.

** I had to resume this blog the next day.  I didn't know it was 2 hours. 

60:21:  LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLE!!!  We are in the house and all the girls are convinced Ben is the hottest man in America.  Did Lauren, the social media stalker, just call Lace a stalker for doing the same thing?  Pot meet kettle.

62:34: Mandi just interrupted Ben and stole him away from the group of ladies. These girls are appalled.  It was pretty rude. Not nearly as shocking, though, as when she breaks out the dental tools to check to see if he flosses so she can determine if he is kissable.  It was brutal to watch.

At this point, there are too many girls talking to Ben and I can't keep track.  They either have a life story to share, tell him how attractive he is, or have a funny to story to make him laugh.

66:36:  A NEW LIMO!  THE BACHELOR TWIST!  Two girls are returning for a second shot at love.  Becca and Amber.  Tif has nicknamed Becca, "40 year old virgin".  Shocker- the girls in the house are PISSED about the twist.

74:15:  Lace asks for another glass of wine.  She needs a glass of water.

76:00:  Lace interrupts Jubilee and Ben and gets her one on one time.  She is a hot mess.  She tried to get another kiss and Ben shot her down!  He is doing a great job explaining himself and then, SNAP!  Mandi comes and grabs him.  Tension is thick in The Bachelor Mansion.  Lace is not happy.  And she is not sober.

78:04:  Ben goes to find Lace to explain himself and why he doesn't want to get physical.  This Ben guy, I swear.  I think I am getting a crush.  Anyway, Lace turns it into a thing about how he singled her out, how much he adores, and how confident she is getting a rose.  I wish he would have also told her to dry up.  Lace is making Mandi look good.

81:04:  Chris delivers a single rose, thus causing more drama.  This single rose, I am told, is a first impression rose and guarantees security.

88:25:  Ben asks for Olivia.  He digs her story and offers her the First Impression Rose.  Good call, Ben, good call.  I totally approve.  Do you know who doesn't approve?  Lace.  She is angry that he didn't look her in the eye.  It is at this point that Tif and I agree that Lace is a cross between Cecily Strong's SNL Weekend Update "The girl you wish you hadn't started a conversation with" and Laurel from multiple "MTV's The Challenge".

And Caila drops the, "She (Lace) is 50 Shades of Crazy."  She is becoming my favorite.

The Rose Ceremony Time:  I tried to write during this.  I swear I tried.  I just couldn't. I kept my hands over my mouth the whole time.  This was so nerve racking.  I agreed with all of Ben's picks except for the Twins, Mandi (except for when she pushed Lace out of the way. Respect.), and Lace.

Wait.  Did he really keep The Chicken Enthusiast and the Cowgirl?  ABC didn't show him giving either of those two a rose, did they?  Never mind.  Drunk, crazy Lace is back.  "I just want to talk to you.  You weren't looking at me."  This girl is cray, cray.  Ben is getting angry.

"I have a feeling the drama is just getting started."  Not only is Ben good looking, he is really, really smart, too.

WAIT! THERE IS AN AFTER SHOW! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!

Season previews are filled with a lot of "I love you"s, kisses, and tears.

All right, Ben let's find you Miss Right.  I am in.

Here are my 3 for Ben.  In order of how they appeared on the show.  Lauren the flight attendant, Caila, and Olivia.

See you next week.

THE BIRTH OF REALITY TV AND THE BACHELORIZATION OF IT

Tifani and I, like most Americans I know, just finished "Making a Murderer" on Netflix.  She immediately stated, "We need a new show to watch."  I thought of the many shows that were coming back on TV after Holiday breaks that we could watch together but realized that she doesn't watch as much crappy TV as I.  We had finished "Scream Queens" and I don't know what to make of this season's "American Horror Story", so I was at a loss of what we could look forward to watching together.

Then, after reviewing my Facebook timeline on Monday, I got an idea.  I texted Tif: "How about we watch the Bachelor?"  She must have thought I was drunk but she agreed.

I have never watched an episode of "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette".  I do know that A LOT of people do and they will state their allegiance to a particular person on social media.  Here is what else I know about the show from reading People magazine covers, while waiting in line at the grocery store: there is a rose involved, rarely does the couple get married, there was a fat guy from a "The Bachelorette" show who went on to be a "The Bachelor" contestant when he lost weight, there was a "The Bachelor" from Iowa, and the last "The Bachelorette" was kind of slutty.

I do, like I wrote earlier, watch a lot of crappy TV.  A lot.  Thank goodness for the The Hopper.  But I watched bad TV before The Hopper.  That includes reality TV.  In my opinion, reality TV started with an inception and a beginning.

The inception would be MTV's 1992 "Real World" (aka "Real World: New York Season 1).  Eric, Julie, Heather, Andre, Norman, Becky, and Kevin had me watching and taping this show every Thursday night because I wanted to see EXACTLY what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.

Now, MTV broke some ground here.  But they were really just flirting with the idea that maybe we could get more viewers if they cut out the videos and just showed tons of reality crap.  They wouldn't adopt this philosophy for nearly ten years.  It doesn't matter how you look at it, The Real World has it's place on the Mt. Rushmore of Reality TV.  Network TV wasn't getting into the idea of reality TV just yet, unless it was "Cops".  Speaking of cops, that will lead us into the beginning of reality TV.

The beginning of reality TV came in the years of 1994 and 1995.  "The OJ Chase and The OJ Trial" is when the networks now understood that they could put unpaid people on TV and still get sponsorship.  Ask anyone in their late 30s and they can tell you exactly where they were during The Chase and The Verdict of OJ Simpson. (Side note: CAN NOT WAIT FOR FX's "THE PEOPLE VS OJ SIMPSON IN FEBRUARY!  CAN'T WAIT!)

Let's fast forward through reality TV and into the reality TV game show.  I was never into "The Gong Show" when I was little, so I don't watch these shows.  Unless there is gambling involved.  So I have only watched "Big Brother", "The Voice", and "MTV's The Challenge".  I am guilty of being in fantasy leagues of all 3.

I have only seen the very first episode of "American Idol" and the first episode of "Survivor".  I thought Simon Cowell was mean and "Survivor" was boring.  I don't watch "The Amazing Race", "The X Factor", "America's Got Talent", etc.  I just don't like them.  So it threw Tifani for a loop when I suggested "The Bachelor".

I explained to her that I wanted to live blog my reaction to the show.  She told me that Howard Stern and Jason Biggs did something similar.  I don't listen to Stern or read Biggs so I don't consider anything I write to be plagiarism.  So together, we are going to catch up on Monday's "The Bachelor", thanks to The Hopper on Dish.  I am going to write my immediate reactions, go back briefly to edit, and then post.  I will try to do the same every Monday night during the season.  Please feel free to comment on Facebook or on the blog.

CREED ANSWERS THE BELL

I didn't plan on writing a 2nd blog about "Creed".  I planned on watching the movie twice, but not to write about it.  As a few readers pointed out, I asked some questions about "Creed" in the last post that deserve to be answered.  If you didn't read my Creed Week blog, here is the link.  

I went to the movie on opening night with friends.  I went to my 2nd viewing with my oldest and closest "Rocky" friend, my father.  My father was the first person to introduce me to the "Rocky" franchise all thanks to the CBS Saturday Night Movie.  Back then there wasn't marathons of "Rocky" on TV, so it was an event.  I saw "Rocky I" and "Rocky II" on these TV specials.  

My father took us to "Rocky III" and "Rocky IV" to the Showcase Cinemas in Milan.  We went to "Rocky V" at the Showcase Cinemas in Davenport.  As a family, we saw "Rocky Balboa" in 2006 at the Showcase Cinemas 53.  My dad and I returned to the now Rave Cinemas 53 for "Creed".  

Going to a "Rocky" movie with my pop is always a great experience for me and something I cherish.  I couldn't have been happier to see we both had tears in our eyes at the end of this movie.  It's that good, folks.  Like "Rocky I", you will get teared up.

So here is my follow up to my last blog.  I asked 7 questions (from previous blog), one for each movie in the franchise, and I will give 7 answers.  I also added 5 extra things about the movie to give a total of 12 items, one for each round of the final fight in "Creed".

1. HOW OLD IS ADONIS?  He has to be at least 29 years old.  I assume he was born in the Summer of 1986.  If Apollo fought Drago in November of 1985, Adonis probably was a blessing of life in October, the latest.  Apollo wouldn't have sacrificed his career for the bedroom.  Apollo was a professional.  ADONIS IS PROBABLY 29 YEARS OLD.  THEY ADDRESS THIS RIGHT AWAY AND THIS TIMELINE WOULD PUT HIM IN THIS AGE RANGE.
2. IS ADONIS A "LOVE CHILD"?  Seems ridiculous to think Apollo would go stepping out on Mary Anne.  I am more inclined to believe Mary Anne didn't know she was with child.  She probably would have used that information to motivate Apollo for his fight versus Drago.  YES, ADONIS IS A LOVE CHILD.  THIS IS HARD TO ACCEPT.  LIKE STALLONE SAID IN AN INTERVIEW, "THE PERFECT MAN, WASN'T PERFECT."
3. WHY DIDN'T ADONIS KNOW WHO HIS BIRTH FATHER WAS? Whoever made this decision is clearly the villain in this story.  THIS IS NOT REALLY ADDRESSED IN THE MOVIE. AT ABOUT THE AGE OF 12 HE FINDS OUT WHO HIS FATHER IS.  HIS MOTHER DIED EARLY IN HIS LIFE, TOO.
4. WHERE IS DUKE? Duke would have taken in this kid and raised him right.  Just like Apollo would have done.  Duke always had Apollo's back.  The Duke question is key.  DUKE ISN'T REALLY ADDRESSED IN THE MOVIE BUT HIS FAMILY IS.  IN A SCENE IN A BOXING GYM IN L.A., ADONIS QUESTIONS DUKE'S SON ABOUT "SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMILY".
5. WHAT IS ROCKY'S ILLNESS? More importantly did he get it from drinking raw eggs? Because I totally did that when I was a kid after I saw "Rocky" and might need to go see a doctor.  ROCKY HAS NON-HODGKIN LYMPHOMA
6. WHY IS CLAIR HUXTABLE IN THIS MOVIE?  I feel like she is the villain I wrote about earlier, it just won't be as obvious as Adrian was as the villain in "Rocky IV".   PHYLICIA RASHAD PLAYS MARY ANNE CREED.  SHE IS COMPLETELY NON-BELIEVABLE IN THIS ROLE.
7. HOW MANY ACADEMY AWARDS WILL THIS MOVIE WIN?  I am guessing 3.  Best Supporting Actor is a lock for Sylvester Stallone.  Best Picture is probably is the hunt.  Best Original Score or Best Actor will bring home the last piece of hardware.  I WAS KIND OF JOKING IN THIS ONE.  KIND OF.  STALLONE REALLY SHOULD GET AN OSCAR NOD FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR.  THAT IS NOT A JOKE.  HE IS REALLY, REALLY GOOD. 

EXTRA TAKES FROM "CREED"

1. Writer-director Ryan Coogler did an amazing job with this film.  Coogler is a "Rocky" fan via his father, who is a HUGE "Rocky" enthusiast.  There are multiple scenes and dialogue giving homage to the saga.  "Creed" took $35 million to make and brought in $42.1 million from the Thanksgiving box office.  It passed "Rocky V"'s box office TOTAL in 5 days!  As of this post, "Creed" should pass "Rocky Balboa"'s $70.3 million box office, placing it 5th in the franchise's box office record. 
2. Coogler has created a new generation of "Rocky" fans.  The young protagonist is relatable to the African-American community and to young fans ("It's in the cloud"), only used to marathons on Spike and TNT. So that means...
3. There will be a "Creed II".  There is no agreement to make a sequel.  I am just calling my shot here.  In "Creed II", Adonis will fight Danny Wheeler.  There will be more of Adonis's childhood covered in this movie, including, Tony "Duke" Wheeler's family.  Danny Wheeler is Duke's grandson.
4. There will be a "Creed III".  Calling my shot, again.  Adonis will fight "Pretty" Ricky Conlan, who beat him in "Creed".  Conlan will just be getting out of prison and will challenge the so-called paper champion.
5. If Coogler sticks to the franchise nostalgia, then I ask him one favor.  Bring back Clubber Lang is some form.  I need to know his story, too.  Would love to see Clubber in some sort of ringside analysis/color commentary role.  His verbal skills are unmatched.  "My prediction? Pain."

One last thing... I forgot to add one thing to the last Creed post.  It was written during Thanksgiving week and I did not add what I was thankful for.  Here it is.

Thanks, Pop, for showing me Rocky

CREED WEEK

It's CREED WEEK at our house.  Yes, Thanksgiving is important too, but every so many years the Rocky saga gives you a holiday season gift.  The Thanksgiving release of "Rocky IV" gave us the fall of Communism as a Christmas gift in 1985.  "Rocky V" made us question if we were really thankful for another Rocky movie in 1990. In 2006, Christmas came a few days early with the release of "Rocky Balboa".  Now it is time to welcome a new contender to the Rocky brand, "Creed".

Jordan Announces "Creed" on Kimmel Live

Michael B. Jordan announced "Creed" on Jimmy Kimmel Live in April. Outside of the announcement, a few texts to friends, and watching the trailer, I have little knowledge of the direction this movie is headed. Which is the opposite to "Balboa" because I read the screenplay online before the movie was released. So I am going into the movie theater on Tuesday with a little information and some questions.  I have seven of each.  One for each movie in the ROCKY SAGA.

Here is what I do know:

1. THIS IS THE FIRST "ROCKY" MOVIE THAT SYLVESTER STALLONE HAS NOT EITHER WRITTEN OR DIRECTED but he is in the movie so it is guaranteed to be half awesome.
2. JORDAN'S CHARACTER IS NAMED "ADONIS" and that is an awesome name.  If it can't be Apollo, then Adonis is 2nd best.  Which leads to...
3. ADONIS IS APOLLO CREED'S SON but he finds this out later in life and...
4. ADONIS HAS ANGER ISSUES and no one can blame him.  I'd be pissed too if "The Count of Monte Fisto" was my father and that information was kept from me. Adonis's anger issues lead to violence so...
5. ADONIS HAS SOME BOXING EXPERIENCE but seeks out Rocky to train him once he finds out his true family name.  Makes sense.
6. ROCKY HAS AN ILLNESS and if he dies, I will cry.  Story goes that Rocky was supposed to die in "Rocky V" but studio executives changed the script.  
7. PHYLLICIA RASHAD IS IN THE MOVIE and she can't be Apollo's widow.  

On the left is Apollo's wife.  On the right is Clair Huxtable.

Questions that I have:

1. HOW OLD IS ADONIS?  He has to be at least 29 years old.  I assume he was born in the Summer of 1986.  If Apollo fought Drago in November of 1985, Adonis probably was a blessing of life in October, the latest.  Apollo wouldn't have sacrificed his career for the bedroom.  Apollo was a professional.
2. IS ADONIS A "LOVE CHILD"?  Seems ridiculous to think Apollo would go stepping out on Mary Anne.  I am more inclined to believe Mary Anne didn't know she was with child.  She probably would have used that information to motivate Apollo for his fight versus Drago.
3. WHY DIDN'T ADONIS KNOW WHO HIS BIRTH FATHER WAS? Whoever made this decision is clearly the villain in this story.  
4. WHERE IS DUKE? Duke would have taken in this kid and raised him right.  Just like Apollo would have done.  Duke always had Apollo's back.  The Duke question is key.
5. WHAT IS ROCKY'S ILLNESS? More importantly did he get it from drinking raw eggs? Because I totally did that when I was a kid after I saw "Rocky" and might need to go see a doctor.
6. WHY IS CLAIR HUXTABLE IN THIS MOVIE?  I feel like she is the villain I wrote about earlier, it just won't be as obvious as Adrian was as the villain in "Rocky IV". 
7. HOW MANY ACADEMY AWARDS WILL THIS MOVIE WIN?  I am guessing 3.  Best Supporting Actor is a lock for Sylvester Stallone.  Best Picture is probably is the hunt.  Best Original Score or Best Actor will bring home the last piece of hardware.

I am really looking forward to Tuesday night.  I get butterflies and goosebumps thinking about it.  Unfortunately, I can't go to the 7:00 special showing but I will be going to the late show.  My daughter has a Sugar Plum Ball on Tuesday and I am her date.  

She is the only person I know that can knock out Rocky!

Break The Routine, Iowa Fans, and Enjoy The Season

The Iowa Hawkeye football team is good.  Undefeated good.  Top Ten AP and Coaches Poll good.  #5 College Football Playoff Rankings good. It's time for Iowa fans to enjoy this season and stop the routine.  The routine, I am writing about, is RANK, REACT, and REPEAT.

After every Iowa victory this year, Iowa fans have speculated if and where the Hawkeyes would be ranked.  We break down the X's and O's of the previous victory, debate whether the Hawks covered spread by enough (or if they did not cover it at all), and check scores of other B1G teams and future opponents. Then we take to our favorite way of debating how good the Hawks are, maybe a local watering hole, a text thread, a message board, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Then the rankings are released. Hawkeyes fans react. Hawks win. The process is repeated.

This was not as big of a deal when AP and Coaches Polls were released on Sunday afternoons (how could there be a huge reaction when all eyes are on your fantasy football team) but now there is the Playoff Rankings.  A big show on ESPN on Tuesday nights 6:00CST.  Now the topic of an undefeated Iowa is raising national attention.  Many sports radio talk show hosts do not see Iowa as a worthy #5 in the nation.  And we react.  This time, though, it's twice a week.

Our first reaction is to argue the talking heads point.  To compare ourselves to other ranked teams by head to head, common opponents, strength of schedule, and other usual criteria.  Then we take to social media to blast the talking heads.

Two days later, our reaction turns from defense to doubt.  Is Iowa good?  Can we beat (next opponent)?  Is Beathard healthy enough?

Let's look at the reaction of defense and doubt up to kickoff after College Football Playoff Rankings were released:

WEEK 11 (FIRST PLAYOFF RANKING OF SEASON)
IOWA #9
DEFENSE: Undefeated and 2 road wins versus Top 25 teams.
DOUBT: Can Iowa stop Indiana's offense? Indiana did play Ohio State to the final minute.  Their quarterback is worrisome.

WEEK 12
IOWA #5
DEFENSE: Undefeated, 2 road wins versus Top 25 teams, strength of schedule is better than Baylor, Ohio State, Michigan State, and Oklahoma State, and easily beat a team that played Ohio State to the final minute.
DOUBT: Is Iowa a #5 team in the country?  Minnesota played Michigan State tough.  Is CJ too banged up to play all four quarters?

WEEK 13
IOWA #5
DEFENSE: Undefeated, 2 road wins versus current Top 25 teams, shouldn't fall in rankings with win, #6 in both AP and Coaches Polls, beat Iowa State by more than Oklahoma State
DOUBT: Weather.  Mother Nature could dump anywhere from 2-12" on Iowa City for Senior Day.  Is cold weather going to effect CJ's groin and passing game?

It's time to stop the routine and embrace the glory of this Hawkeye football season.  Two ways we can do so:

1. Don't feed the monster and stop letting the talk shows troll us for our responses.  Sports talk show hosts, like Colin Cowherd (see link below), give their strong opinions for ratings.

Colin Cowherd blasts Iowa's schedule

Cowherd, himself in the past, has said that if his numbers are good in a market, he will speak well of a team/program and if they are low, he will bash them.  Both scenarios, he gets a response and listeners increase.  Recently, in defense of his previous statement, he has said that this is no longer the case because Fox Sports has given him a guaranteed contract but, let's be real, his ego is driven by numbers, not dollars.

2. Stop doubting this team and embrace the excitement.  Iowa football has been on national television week in and out and is being talked about daily on college football shows.  This is incredible for recruiting.

And

The excitement can be contagious.  The 1981 Iowa Hawkeyes went to the Rose Bowl.  I was 5 and I became a Hawkeye fan for life.  My daughter is 5 and my son is 4 and they are excited for every Hawkeye football game now.  We are raising a new generation of Iowa Hawkeye fans and it is fantastic.

Let's break the routine.  Let's start a new one.

The haters hate and the Hawkeyes celebrate.

Go Hawks!